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11 July 2007 @ 11:42 am
My application and I are the best.  
The Basics

Name: Jess

Age range (13-15, 16-19, 20-24, 25+): 25+

Favorite character: Fred and George. (We all know they're both really the same character.)

Least favorite character: Dobby the House Elf. The Jar-Jar of the Potter world.

Favorite Non-Harry Potter related fandom: I don’t know if it’s considered to be a fandom, but I am the world’s biggest Aaron Sorkin fan.

What is your pet peeve?: SUVs. Everything about them. People in the cities use them. They're headlights are positioned just so anybody in a car can't see a bloody thing when they're facing you or tailgating you. That people drive SUVs like they're good in the snow (they're not) or like sports cars (they're not.) The fact that they have 30 gallon tanks and get 20 miles to the gallon and then complain about gas prices. That SUVs cause more damage to the rest of the world when their stupid drivers who think they're sports cars manage to drive them into things. (And then the SUVs roll because their center of gravity is too high off the ground.) That whenever I see an SUV, there seems to be a single person driving in it and no passengers. And that the people who drive SUVs are otherwise humans of normal intelligence. I'd say the SUV is the biggest marketing scam since tobacco, except they don't even hide these characteristics. People just like wasting their money. (I will acknowledge that a very small percentage of the US population lives in areas where SUVs are actually useful. Such as small mountain communities that lack paved roads. Such people are exempted from my peevish ranting.)

The Deeper Stuff

Five years from now you are diagnosed with a terminal illness. It can be cured by a single pill that costs $5,000 dollars and is not covered by insurance. How would you go about getting the medication? I'd just pay for it. And switch insurance companies to one that actually covers medically necessary treatments.

Your house is burning down - all people and pets are out safely. You are able to save one item. What is it and why? It'd have to be client files for my pro bono cases. They'd take forever to replace.

You find a wallet in a parking lot. It has $1,000 dollars cash in it and a driver's license. You look at the license and realize it belongs to a co-worker you speak to on a daily basis. What do you do? Fork it over to the co-worker with a nice long lecture. I don't need $1K, and I like sleeping at night. But the coworker should know better, thus the lecture before handing over the wallet.

You've been given $100,000 dollars. If you can use it all within one hour you will be given one million dollars. What do you do? What to do, what to do. I'm thinking about diamonds, but I'd probably return them to the store after I got the mil. I'm not interested in spending 25-30K (assuming 25-30% income tax bracket) on anything worth $90,000 (assuming 10% sales tax) when I can instead have 75K to invest towards retirement and such. If I wasn't allowed to return the diamonds after buying them, I’d instead donate the 100K to the local __(insert type of choice here)__ shelter to be used to update and increase the size of facilities. That way at least someone would get something they really needed.

You see a famous person in the lobby of a busy movie theater and no one else has noticed him/her. What do you do? Probably not recognize them. That or say "You look an awfully lot like (famous person), does anybody ever tell you that?"

You come upon a wishing well and toss a coin in to make a wish. Your wish is granted. What did you wish for? Al Gore to run for president and be elected (again.)

You're 70 years old and writing your autobiography. What is the title and why would people read it? "A Real Character." People would read it because I'm a rather unique person with a very unique perspective, and I'm acquainted with very interesting, unique people.

You have been gifted with the chance to actually perform a magical spell. In front of you stands your greatest love, your worst enemy, and a pile of inanimate objects ready to be used in your spell. Which spell do you allow yourself to use and why have you chosen that spell? I don't really have any enemies. And I'm already happy in love. I'm not really much interested in enchanting, and I'm pretty happy with myself. In fact, the only thing I'd really like is the ability to selectively see the future, and that seems like a terrible idea. If you already know how things are going to work out, where do you get any motivation from? So, I guess, I would grant myself the magical ability to un-mix things and isolate components. You know, remove oil from water; pull out the extra salt from the cake batter when I accidentally confused tablespoons and teaspoons; isolate radioactive components from the ground; remove air pollution etc.

You find a magic lamp, rub it, and out pops a Genie. You are given the chance to relive and change one experience in your past. What do you change (if any) and why? I make very few mistakes, and the ones I do make I'm not very interested in writing about. So, for fun, I would have changed rubbing the lamp. Then, if I ever have this great urge to do something really stupid, I can do it, and then rub the lamp and reset it.

Yes/No Questions
Mark each word with a yes or a no as it applies to you. Feel free to explain each answer (not mandatory)

Logical: Yup. Bring on the logic puzzles.
Emotional: I prefer to call it intuitive.
Intelligent: Yup. Spider Solitaire, beware.
Fair: Unfortunately. Being unfair keeps me from sleeping at night, and I like to sleep.
Witty: No, not very often.
Creative: If creativity requires originality, then I'm afraid I'm SOL.
Cunning: I can, occasionally, play a decent game of chess.
Ambitious: Occasionally, I suppose. Although I don't think that being perfect is too much to ask for.
Brave: In order to brave, you have to be afraid of things but push past your fear. I'm not afraid of anything.
Loyal: Extremely. It goes with being fair.
Honest: I don't have anything to lie about.
Trustworthy: I prefer sleep to anything I could gain by being untrustworthy. See "fair", above.
Impulsive: Not frequently.
Mean: Once again, see "fair." Fair excludes mean.
Cruel: Once again, see "fair." Fair excludes cruel.
Dishonest: I still don't have anything to lie about.
Observant: Sadly, no. Thus not noticing the famous person above.
Stubborn: Extremely. Except for when I get bored and walk off.
Friendly: Quite. I like people.
Kind: I'm fair. Some people mistake that for kindness.
Compassionate: I'm pretty good at reading people.
Hard-working: I get very bored very easily, and I like accomplishing things while I'm avoiding boredom.
Lazy: I get too bored too readily.
Outgoing: It really depends on my mood.

And finally, how did you find us? These applications started showing up on my friends' page.
What about aliens?: gryffindorender839 on July 11th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
Huzzah for Spider Solitaire! Ravenclaw for you. :)
Nuchtchas (Nutty, NIMLAS, however you know me): Huffelpuffnuchtchas on July 11th, 2007 04:52 pm (UTC)
I feel like you are either Huffelpuff or Griffindor, as much as I would like you in my house, I will say Gryfindor
Groupie: Sorted_Slytherinhackergroupie on July 11th, 2007 05:09 pm (UTC)
Strangely, halfway through I started thinking, is that snake I see? Then by the end I was shaking my head going "how could I EVER think this girl is a snake?!"

I don't really see much Ravenclaw (despite a few very clawy moments), so it is a toss up between Puff and Gryffindor. And it's not easy.

Gryffindor, I think. Though with a crazy large side of Puff.
gammarayghost: patronus catladybast on July 11th, 2007 05:24 pm (UTC)
Seconding the "Huzzah!" for Spider Solitaire, but going with Gryffindor
Juppy: Harry's Been Gayed by: megiove_dea on July 11th, 2007 06:25 pm (UTC)
W00t for SUV hate! There are only two things I can see needing it for, mountain roads and camping.

I think I'm going with...
Peppermintspoon: Trent Reznor [Trent]peppermintspoon on July 11th, 2007 08:08 pm (UTC)
AJwyldcolt45 on July 12th, 2007 08:02 pm (UTC)
Me, myself and I: Slytherin sortedascendingflame on July 15th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
You seem very Ravenclaw to me.
club_mods on July 19th, 2007 05:14 pm (UTC)
You've been sorted into Gryffindor! Congratulations! :) Don't forget to join clubhogwarts if you haven't already.

You can also join the various Club Hogwarts communities- including your club house!

Also, and don't forget, as one of the first Club members - you're far cooler than others!